Not Just Another Spoiled Child of Divorce

by Carolyn on February 22, 2010

Pointing the way to somewhere else.

Since I’ve organized my sidebar links, you might have noticed an interesting name to the right sitting below the ‘For ACOD’s’ heading.  Don’t let the name fool you.  This is the only other blog I’ve ever found that is specifically about divorce issues, written from the perspective of  a grown child of divorce.  Or as I like to think of it, my blog sibling.

Like any siblings though, here are some stark differences between our blogs.  For one, I am completely open here.  You know who I am and what I look like.  You know that I’m married with two children.  You know what I do for a living.  I know hardly any of those things about Toothless, the author of Spoiled Children of Divorce.  From a couple of posts, I’m pretty sure that Toothless is a woman.  But I have no idea if she is young or old, married or single, a parent or not, or what she does in ‘real life’.  There is no ‘About’ page on her site.  All I know is that we’re both children of divorce who are sharing our experiences and opinions with anyone willing to read them.  I guess in the sharing of those things, the details become moot.

Although I don’t know anything more than what Toothless chooses to share, I have a great respect for her (I may be wrong, but I’m going with ‘she’).  Toothless is sharp as a whip and I she spends a lot less time trying to be politically correct in her little corner of cyberspace than I sometimes do.  She has strong opinions about divorced parents and step parents, which she makes no apologies for in either her posts or her comments.  It is clear she writes for herself and other ACOD’s, nobody else.  And what I love most of all?  She’s smart.  It shines through in every post and even more in every comment.

But you won’t just find posts detailing thoughts, ruminations and feelings over at Spoiled Children.  She discusses current research and news articles as well.  She also has a series that I love entitled ‘Exemplary Children of Divorce’, where she highlights bios of celebrities and movie characters who are children of divorce themselves.  Did you know that Barry Manilow was an ACOD?  Quincy Jones?  Maya Angleou?  Neither did I!

Toothless also has an interest in astrology which she relates to children of divorce. Admittedly, most of it is over my head, but she looks at the impact of where a child is astrologically when parents divorce.  I think it’s fascinating work.  One day I’m going to ask her if she’d be willing to do a reading for me (which, if she turns out to be a he, probably won’t happen any time soon ;)).

I have gotten lost in the archives of this blog from time to time.  It’s easy to do.  But to get you started, I’ll point you to a few of my favorite posts:

~ Wonder why it’s called Spoiled Children of Divorce?  So did I.  Toothless explains here.

~ Exemplary Children of Divorce – The Beatles.  Aren’t you dying to know?

~ Do you remember when that Dutch girl wanted to sail around the world?  Toothless has an interesting point of view on that story.

And just a final note: if you are a divorced parent or step parent, remember that this blog isn’t really for you and you most definitely will  not like everything you read over there.   Much the same as single parents wouldn’t always like what they’d find on step parent blogs and vice versa.  If you choose to go, remember you are a guest (who has been adequately warned).  I’m not trying to send her an audience who will be hurt by what they read or critical in their comments.  But children of divorce?  You might really dig this one.


{ 14 comments… read them below or add one }

1 InspiredDreamer February 23, 2010 at 12:57 am

Hi there, I’m stopping by from SITS. I really like what you’re doing with your blog here, I’m sure it is a ray of light to adult children of divorce.

Have an Extraordinary Day!


2 Carolyn February 23, 2010 at 10:54 pm

Thanks Inspired! You’re welcome back any time.


3 WhiteSockGirl February 24, 2010 at 2:59 am

Ah, now I have to check toothless out! Not just because I want to check out her series, Exemplary Children of Divorce, but also the name,.. the name! LMAO, the images that they name Toothless sparked,.. I know, I am way too freaky to be normal.

Girl, you have done an excellent ‘blog pimp’ job!
.-= WhiteSockGirl´s last blog ..No thank you. I don’t do spam. =-.


4 Carolyn February 24, 2010 at 9:32 pm

Why thank you! I know, the name rocks. And you know what? I think you are going to dig that blog. She is bitch fab just like you.


5 Jill February 24, 2010 at 11:49 am

Wow. I read this blog’s archives almost all in one day. What a valuable link. I’m a stepmom, so I know this blog wasn’t written for me, but I feel like I’ve just downloaded a huge chunk of understanding I’ve been looking for — I’ve been trying to get where my stepkids are coming from — what their lives right now FEEL, viscerally, like for them, and I feel like I have a much bigger window into getting where they are coming from. Thanks for posting this link.


6 Carolyn February 24, 2010 at 9:34 pm

I’m really happy to hear that you felt you gained something over there. A step mom being able to read the harsh realities and truths that Toothless brings up without feeling defensive is very impressive, Jill. Kudos to you and your effort to understand your step children better!


7 Sal February 25, 2010 at 6:38 pm

Hi Carolyn

I just felt I had to comment here. I spotted Toothless’ blog a little while ago and was astonished by the title so I clicked on the link thinking “who the hell is saying kids of divorce can possibly be spoiled?!?!?” Toothless led me to your blog as she (I also presume Toothless is a woman) had written an article about it. The two of you are so completely different in how you go about your blogs – I find both fascinating!

I do feel a bit of a faker commenting on your blog and Toothless’ blog as I can only describe myself as a “second generation adult child of divorce” (SGACOD?). I have always had a terribly difficult relationship with one of my parents and now, in my attempts to analyse what caused all the difficulties wonder if a lot of that is due to their own parents’ divorce some 70 years ago which had been a taboo subject all my life but when out of curiosity I started asking, I realised I was in danger of unleashing something long-bottled-up best left unwakened. So your posts about your relationship with your father, how you have dealt with it and your feelings you have really struck a chord with me, so thank you for that.


8 Carolyn February 26, 2010 at 10:06 am

(SGACOD?) – Love. It. Did you ever see my post entitled Being an acronym is great? You made me laugh right out loud there.

Sal, don’t feel hindered to ever comment on either my or Toothless’ blog. Your comments are always thoughtful, insightful and most of all, valuable for others to read. I’m astounded to read that you are gaining insight being a SGACOD; that application never occurred to me but makes perfect sense. I wish you all the best on your journey and I’m elated to know that the sharing of my own difficulties has helped you if even a little. Thanks for your comment!


9 Angelia Sims February 25, 2010 at 10:48 pm

Interesting! I will definitely have to check IT out. I read many children of divorce and children of alcoholic books in 2004. Finding your blog has been fascinating for me in continuing that quest to understand how that child was affected at age 3. I really love your openness because I am the same way. I appreciate it. I get suspicious when things are hidden.
.-= Angelia Sims´s last blog ..Wedding Wordless Wednesday =-.


10 Carolyn February 26, 2010 at 10:08 am

You are in luck Anglelia, because Toothless has shared on a couple of posts that her parents were also alcoholics. Hopefully you will find that the honesty of her writing overcomes the shadows of her identity.


11 ThetaMom February 26, 2010 at 10:18 am

Based on your recommendation, I need to go check out Toothless!


12 Carolyn February 28, 2010 at 8:55 am

Thanks Heather!


13 Toothless from Spoiled Children... March 8, 2010 at 2:11 am

Hey Carolyn, you’re the coolest pimp ever. Thanks for the plug. Thanks also for warning my victims. I’m trying to cool off my hot head, but maybe got a ways to go.

I started reading this while I was flossing my …. teeth.


14 Carolyn March 8, 2010 at 10:40 pm

I like your hot head, Toothless. I love how you see straight to the heart of matters and you don’t mince words. The people pleaser in me prevents me from doing so sometimes.

And you go with the floss. I’m a big fan of flossing. :)


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