In search of me – Day 8

by Carolyn on July 20, 2009

Honest Abe

Honest Abe

I think the picture says it all:

Are you honest?


{ 4 comments… read them below or add one }

1 Frank July 20, 2009 at 12:52 pm

Yes. What’s more, I’d like to think I’m the “good kind” of honest. I really dislike it when people excuse their lack of tact by calling it ” honesty.”

“Geezus, you look like a cow in that skirt. Hey… I’m just being honest.”

No, you’re being a jerk. It *is* possible, and I think preferable, to temper one’s honesty with kindness.


2 Urchin July 20, 2009 at 3:06 pm

I’m not as honest as I would like to be. Mostly with myself. Or with other people. They’re insignificant dishonesties, or so I’ve always told myself.

“Yup, I’m just fine.”
“No, it’s okay. I’ll find something else to do/eat/read/whatever.”
“Couldn’t be better, thanks!”

Things like that. The masks I wear, or try to wear as I hide myself behind layers upon layers of walls, moats, pikemen, and so on are all little lies. The smiles when I just want to curl up and hide. The playing certain things off as if they were jokes…


3 Tammy July 20, 2009 at 4:02 pm

I would like to think I am honest. Like the others have said there are things that are held back for kindness and politness. As a mom there are the “white lies” we tell our kids( S.C. and the other holiday characters). I try to do my best not to be two-faced. And I think we all have said the things Urchin has listed at some point in our lives. But sometimes it is just easier to say that and it is what most people who ask the questions only want to hear anyways. Isn’t it?


4 Carolyn July 20, 2009 at 10:01 pm

I am honest. And I am not. But I’m being more and more honest each day and I can only say that I’m feeling better and better for it. I agree with Frank. Using honesty as a way of being tactless doesn’t make a person any less tactless. And I of course like Tammy, am upholding all the holiday shams!

There are times when I’m sure to be honest. I don’t lie out of fear. If I break something, I tell someone. If I hurt someone, I don’t make excuses. And when discussing something objective, I am almost always quite candid.

But many times I’ve been a liar. I lie much like Urchin. I lie to spare you my truth or because I’m not comfortable showing it to you. I lie to please you. Telling you what I think you want to hear as opposed to what I really think.

But I’m a changin’! I still catch myself lying sometimes and I’m often reminding myself to be true. Patterns so ingrained are difficult to break. The masks can be difficult to remove. But I keep trying. And I’ll get better. You know what they say: practice makes perfect. I’m trying not to shoot for perfect anymore, so I’m just going to measure ‘improvement’.


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