From the category archives:


How Does Divorce Affect Children?

by Carolyn on April 6, 2010

  How will my divorce affect my child? A lot of parents out there are asking this question and unfortunately there’s a problem with the answer.  The problem is that the ‘answer’ doesn’t really exist. The professionals don’t know. Two of the leading experts in the field, Judith Wallerstein and E. Mavis Hetherington seem to […]



A Reconciliation

by Carolyn on February 15, 2010

It feels eerily the same as when I was ten. Waiting for a phone call that’s not coming.  Wondering what I did wrong.  Thinking that maybe the last time we talked I wasn’t nice enough, didn’t seem interested enough in his life, or that maybe somehow I upset him.  That internal dialogue is whispering through […]



Cause and Effect

by Carolyn on September 29, 2009

My parents met, got married and had me. I’m alive today and living a richer life than I ever could have imagined.  I’ll always be grateful to them for giving me my greatest gift – life. My parents got divorced. And I still feel a little sad, angry and hurt by that.  I sometimes wonder […]



Feeling wanted

by Carolyn on August 27, 2009

As a child of divorce I’ve lived my life with one enormous fear.  The fear of not being wanted.  It still haunts me.  I’ve seen it haunt others.  Like a monkey on our backs that lays dormant for a while but wakes up at the slightest hint of confirmation.  I wish it wasn’t so.  I […]



My life as a secret keeper

by Carolyn on August 5, 2009

You can tell me anything.  Really, you can.  And chances are I won’t tell anyone.  I am a secret keeper and even when you don’t expect me to keep your secrets, I will.   My first lesson in secret keeping was taught by a pair of socks.  No, that isn’t a typographical error.  My socks taught […]



The systems of family

by Carolyn on July 25, 2009

Every family has a system.  A set of rules and expectations with regards to communicating and interacting with each other.  And every family is different.  There are general types of family systems but families are like snowflakes.  Each one varying slightly or even greatly from another.  And if that weren’t specific enough, each pair of […]



What a mess

by Carolyn on July 1, 2009

How do you protect your children from your parents?  The question seems ridiculous even as I write it.  Because once you have children a transition occurs.  Your parents stop being just your parents and become your children’s grandparents.  And what do we envision when we think of grandparents?  For most of us, we think of […]