From the category archives:

Self Worth

The Misalignment of Love

by Carolyn on October 6, 2010

  This past weekend, I had a poetic family moment. You know, one of those greeting card moments where you visualize a leather bound book opening to a picture of the exact scene you’re sitting in. It was Saturday morning and my husband and I were lounging in bed while our son, who as usual […]

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A Reconciliation

by Carolyn on February 15, 2010

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It feels eerily the same as when I was ten. Waiting for a phone call that’s not coming.  Wondering what I did wrong.  Thinking that maybe the last time we talked I wasn’t nice enough, didn’t seem interested enough in his life, or that maybe somehow I upset him.  That internal dialogue is whispering through […]

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Self Destruct?  Not Tonight.

by Carolyn on November 14, 2009

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I can feel it coming.  Can you? My self destruction is looming in the corner.  Taunting me.  Ready to take over at  my slightest concession.  This is what I do.  It’s what I’ve done.  It’s who I’ve been. I’ll tell you a story. There once was a girl who had her whole future laid in […]

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Cause and Effect

by Carolyn on September 29, 2009

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My parents met, got married and had me. I’m alive today and living a richer life than I ever could have imagined.  I’ll always be grateful to them for giving me my greatest gift – life. My parents got divorced. And I still feel a little sad, angry and hurt by that.  I sometimes wonder […]

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Feeling wanted

by Carolyn on August 27, 2009

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As a child of divorce I’ve lived my life with one enormous fear.  The fear of not being wanted.  It still haunts me.  I’ve seen it haunt others.  Like a monkey on our backs that lays dormant for a while but wakes up at the slightest hint of confirmation.  I wish it wasn’t so.  I […]

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From a recovering perfectionist

by Carolyn on July 8, 2009

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I am perfect. At least that’s what I’ve been trying to convince myself.  And I’ve been trying to convince you too.  For when I can’t win my own good favor, yours is the next best thing.  I am a perfectionist.  Which may seem irritating to you, but trust me, it’s downright painful for me. I’m […]

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Footnotes

by Carolyn on July 2, 2009

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It hurts my family to know that I never felt like I fit in with them.  Hearing or reading this truth is like a knife slashing across their chests.  I didn’t realize that until now.  Oh believe me, it hurts me too.  But I’ve been dealing with that knowledge since my parents remarried.  I’ve had […]

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What a mess

by Carolyn on July 1, 2009

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How do you protect your children from your parents?  The question seems ridiculous even as I write it.  Because once you have children a transition occurs.  Your parents stop being just your parents and become your children’s grandparents.  And what do we envision when we think of grandparents?  For most of us, we think of […]

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