In search of me – Day 25

by Carolyn on August 6, 2009

Stand up

Stand up

Do you stand up for yourself?  Do you stand up for others?

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{ 4 comments… read them below or add one }

1 Carolyn August 6, 2009 at 10:27 pm

I do. Now. I’ve always considered myself strong mentally, but not physically. I remember being afraid of the bullies at school. And sometimes that prevented me from standing up for myself.

I also worried that standing up for myself; not being what someone expected me to be would ruin my relationship with them. That has prevented me from standing up too.

I always found it easier to stand up for others, but I never did it that often. Afraid of the backlash. Not wanting to get involved.

I started kickboxing. About 12 years ago. I joined a dojo where the Sansai also ran kickboxing classes. I went 5 times a week for almost a year. He would work me out so hard I would sometimes throw up during class. I would spar black belt’s who didn’t much like a girl training with them. Sometimes I would step in the ring and know that I would be hitting the mat more than I would be standing for the next three minutes. And despite all this, I loved it. It built my confidence in a way that nothing before or since ever has. I am no longer afraid. Bullies don’t scare me.

My fear of relationships falling apart from standing up has been harder to overcome. But I’m there. I think that’s because I know the most important relationships in my life aren’t going anywhere. I’ve learned that disagreements don’t negate love and if they do, there is something else going on.

And as for standing up for others…this is one area that I sometimes need to reign in. Not in standing up for them, but in acting like judge and jailer to the offender. This is one place that my new found lack of fear isn’t favorable. Because standing up for one doesn’t always require knocking down another.

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2 Frank August 6, 2009 at 10:50 pm

I had no idea you did kickboxing! That’s fantastic!

I started studying kung fu when I was 10 years old. It’s the closest I’ve ever come to having a religion. I remember when I was testing for my sash one year, I was training at least eight hours a day, seven days a week. (That would have made a great “How I Spent My Summer Vacation” essay.)

I got knocked down badly as a child. Once. Just once. But when I stood back up I swore no one would ever make me feel helpless again. I’ve kept that promise to myself. It’s also a promise I keep for others, when I see someone being bullied. I cannot abide to stand by and watch.

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3 Tammy August 8, 2009 at 8:20 pm

I do. People tell me I do as well. I think it is the red head in me, my stubornness. It got me through highschool and not caring about peer pressure. I had friends that were weekend alcoholics from grade nine on and I didn’t drink till I was legal. I have always stood up for my self not sure why. Maybe it is the control freak in me. I don’t like being told to do things, ask me and that is a different thing.

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4 Urchin August 15, 2009 at 12:50 pm

I’m better at standing up for other people than I am for myself. Me, I’m used to the heckling, the laughter, the hurt. Other people? It doesn’t matter if they are or not, they don’t deserve that kind of treatment. I think (no, I know) this is where the question a friend asked me came from.

“If you treated your friends the way you treat yourself, would you have any?”

It’s something I think about, and I’m TRYING to stand up for myself more.

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