In search of me – Day 13

by Carolyn on July 25, 2009

Oh, come on!!

Oh, come on!!

What is your biggest pet peeve….about you?

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{ 8 comments… read them below or add one }

1 Frank July 25, 2009 at 8:46 am

I can’t do anything casually. I take everything too personally, feel everything too deeply. It’s caused me nothing but problems and I really wish I was wired differently.

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2 Carolyn July 25, 2009 at 8:32 pm

I don’t tend to be a good listener. I’m usually pretty sure I’ve figured out what you were going to say anyway, and I’m already thinking of my response before you’re even done talking. And if I’m not engaged in what you are discussing with me, I’ll tend to agree with you even when I don’t.

It may sound irritating for whomever I’m talking to, but trust me, they usually don’t suspect a thing. But it’s irritating as anything to me, and I’m trying not to do this anymore. Because…it’s just rude.

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3 Frank July 26, 2009 at 4:34 am

And isn’t there a part of you that’s a little mad and disappointed in them that they can’t tell?

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4 Tammy July 26, 2009 at 3:05 pm

My lack of self confidence. I try my best to hide it from everyone else but I am always second guessing myself. My choice to get married and to have my kids are pretty much my only decisions I have had doubts about.

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5 Carolyn July 26, 2009 at 9:57 pm

Frank – Not really. I’m usually happy to have people believe what I show them. But it makes it harder because it really is completely up to me to change it. It’s not like I get called on it often.

Tammy – I never would have guessed that one! I always thought you were so sure of yourself.

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6 Tammy July 27, 2009 at 8:38 am

I play it off as shyness. I have been trying to stop it and just believe in myself all the time but it is hard. I have gotten better, especially after working in the last place I worked. I really gained a lot from there and that is also when I met my husband. Prior to that I had employers that belittle you any chance they could get. So at the end of the day I was either just about in tears thinking how dumb can I be or thinking those two are *b* . When I quit I had more days of the latter but two years of abuse is hard on you.

As younger child I never spoke up or raise my hand in class. I was always second guessing myself. I never wanted to be wrong or embarassed.

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7 Urchin July 29, 2009 at 12:18 am

How easily I put myself down.

It’ll come across as being ‘witty’ or ‘snarky’ with a sarcastic streak. But I”m an expert on turning a phrase against myself. It irritates other people too, and I’ve been called on it, but let’s face it. It’s easy to do. Sure it reflects my own lack of a positive self image and how I actually see myself. But more often than not folks are happy to see it as a joke.

I play it off well as a joke too.

I don’t HATE myself. Not the way some people think. I’m just not comfortable with myself. Maybe it started as a defense mechanism from where I grew up and how, but it should have stopped when I left that environment.

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8 Carolyn July 29, 2009 at 9:31 pm

And that ‘s what happens with coping mechanisms. They are born from necessity and they usually are quite useful in the time we need them. But they’re sticky. They’re hard to shake. And suddenly something that was so effective can become a hindrance.

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