Epilogue: My best kept secret

by Carolyn on July 13, 2009

Photo Credit - Introspection by Brad Rickerby

Photo Credit - Introspection by Brad Rickerby

A dear friend of mine just pointed out to me that the theme of being closed off or walled up is common among my posts.  And I have to concede that he’s right.  My best kept secret, From a recovering perfectionist, Splintered and The connected ones all have this common thread.  Of feeling like I’ve hidden myself behind a wall and put on a variety of masks to appear normal.  It is a common thread in my life, so I’m not surprised it has been reflected here.

But I didn’t start this site to revisit issues over and over without doing something about them.  I have been working to change.  To open myself up.  To figure out who I am in order to finally be myself with others.  I believe that all issues in life can be helped by looking inward, therefore introspection and reflection is the way I have been trying to start.  But life moves pretty fast.  Sometimes it can be difficult to set the time aside each day to do this reflection and it can also feel overwhelming when there’s so much reflection to do.  So I thought of an exercise.

I was going to do this exercise privately, but in this moment is seems silly not to have thought of sharing it with all of you.  To invite you to see my growth and to even participate yourselves if you like.  So this post is more than just an epilogue.  It is an introduction and invitation too.  Here are the details:

I’m going to post a question each day for the next month.  Not easy questions.  Digging questions.  Investigative questions.  The type of questions that you need to ponder for a while.  Where when put together, the answers will spell out your character.  I will post the question early in the day, and when I have decided on an answer for myself, I will post it as a comment.  The answers won’t always be pretty.  If anyone’s always are, they aren’t being truly honest.

I would invite anyone to participate in this with me, but of course there is no obligation.  If you feel like sharing one day and not the next, that’s ok.  If you would like to just read my answers, that’s fine too.  But I do hope that if you are going to read, that you will at least ponder your own answers privately.  Take the journey, don’t just spectate.  At the end of the month, we will have a discussion regarding what we have learned about ourselves and whether the journey itself was beneficial.

Some days this will be fun.  On others it will be difficult.  Maybe even embarassing. The one thing you will be able to count on each day is that you will be thinking and that those thoughts will be interesting.  Because nobody should be more interesting to you than….you!  And since there’s no time like the present, I’ll be posting our first question today and answering tonight.  I’m going to call this exercise ‘In search of me’.  I can hardly wait to see who I find.

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{ 3 comments… read them below or add one }

1 Tammy July 13, 2009 at 4:33 pm

Love it! I will try and keep up but I may get a few days behind with the three munchkins!

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2 Carolyn July 13, 2009 at 4:45 pm

Of course, no pressure. Do what you can. You have your hands full!

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3 Urchin July 14, 2009 at 1:18 am

Count me in, too. I may try to hedge, and if I do, call me on it. I may end up crying, but what’s growth without a little watering? This is something I need to do too. I keep making wonderful little excuses not to. They’re great. They’re plausible. But they’re only getting in the way.

Carolyn, your bravery keeps making me smile. I can only imagine how hard it is to hit that “post” button. I guess I’m about to find out.

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