A beautiful diversity out of divorce

by Carolyn on June 25, 2009



Our diversity amazes me. Some of us were very young when it happened. Some of us were school aged or even teenagers. Some of us have watched a parent or two remarry. Some may have even sat through a few marriages. Some got step siblings. Some watched their parents have more children. Although we are all the same in one way; we can be absolutely different in others. Although the foundation of our families is divorce, what grows out of that foundation may stand in stark contrast to another.

It’s like our family structures are an intricate house of cards. Not just one house of cards, but a million little complex houses. At first they may all seem about the same, but with a closer look one can see that the architecture of each is quite different. There are no boring nuclear families here. We laugh in the face of a simple family with one mom, one dad, two sets of grandparents, a few aunts and uncles. HA! That’s way too simple for us.

And therin lies my biggest reason for starting this site. Because when I talk about my family history with friends who have no personal history with divorce, I feel like an educator. I’m giving a little lesson on the ins and outs of divorce and how it has shaped my family. I don’t mind giving this lesson. But here’s the key difference. When I talk about my family history with friends who do have a personal history with divorce, I don’t feel like I’m teaching. I feel like I’m sharing. I know they understand, even if their house of cards looks entirely different than mine. Because it too is made of cards. And I know we can both see and appreciate the subtle but distinct differences in our houses.

So I hope to build a community. A community of adult children of divorce. We can share with each other. We can learn from each other. We can take strength from each other. Maneuvering our families is not always easy, but I know I’ve always found solice in knowing that I am not alone.


{ 1 comment… read it below or add one }

1 Carolyn July 2, 2009 at 10:33 pm

From Tammy on June 18, 2009

You are a fabulous writer Carolyn. Thanks for sharing and educating me about the other side of marriage.


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